KAMI BUKAN MENGELUH!

If i have free time, i suka blogwalking. Suka baca cerita TTCian lain, and also suka baca catatan harian org lain. Tambah pengalaman, berkongsi rasa. But, a few times masa I blog walking I terbaca beberapa komen dari some of the readers yang i rasa susah nak terima. Komen pada TTCian yg buat kind of 'sad' entry about TTC.

OK, for the benefit of non TTCian, TTC is Trying To Conceive ya :-)

Lets start with the difference between sympathy and empathy:

Both empathy and sympathy are feelings concerning other people. Sympathy is literally 'feeling with' - compassion for or commiseration with another person.Empathy, by contrast, is literally 'feeling into' - the ability to project one's personality into another person and more fully understand that person. Sympathy derives from Latin and Greek words meaning 'having a fellow feeling'. The term empathy originated in psychology (translation of a German term, c. 1903) and has now come to mean the ability to imagine or project oneself into another person's position and experience all the sensations involved in that position. 

You feel empathy when you've "been there", and sympathy when you haven't. 

Source: dictionary.com


Dunia TTC ni, hanya orang yg mengalami yang tahu bagaimana perasaan tu. Bukan menidakkan simpati yg diberikan dari orang yg tidak mengalaminya... but, u didn't experience it, you don't know how the feeling is...hence u can only sympathize, not empathize.

TTC bukan topik yg mudah untuk dibicarakan secara terbuka. Dikalangan masyarakat, i think it is still a taboo topik. Rasa macam buka pekung di dada pulak kan... walaupun sebenarnya tidak. But sometimes, the feeling need to be let out. Tak boleh simpan lama2... Maka, teman rapat/ seseorang yang dipercayai menjadi tempat mengadu, menjadi tempat bercerita.

Tapi, setakat mana lah ya kita bleh ngadu.... mereka cuma teman bercerita. Asik cakap topik yg sama, dorang pon boring agaknya... so kadang2 tu, rasa berseorangan tu tetap ada. Sebab teman tempat kita bercerita itu tidak mengalami, maka mereka hanya simpati... (tapi i akui, ada juga yg dapat merasai apa yg kami rasai, tapi x ramai kot...). Another outlet, write it down on a diary/ tulih kat blog...

One of the reason kenapa i tulis blog, sebab i nak share my journey with those yg senasib dengan i. I know perjalanan TTC ni bukan mudah. I know how the feeling of having the hope crushed every time the monthly menses come. I know the feeling of being ashamed when someone asked u out loud "Bila ko nak ada anak ni?". Because I've been there (and i still am). And I pernah rasa keseorangan. But once i kenal dunia TTC di alam maya ni, i rasa "owh...ramai lagi yg sama nasib macam i", they understand my feeling, and they become my support and give me strength, advises and prayers.

Kat blog ni jugak la tempat i merempan. Bila tiba rasa down and i feel like at the bottom of the world, kat sini la tempat i melepas rasa. Bukan tak bersyukur dengan nikmat yg Allah bagi kat i. Bukan nak mengeluh... cuma nak melepaskan rasa. Macam i, memang kena lepaskan rasa sedih, rasa negative and rasa down, sebelum i boleh pick up back the pieces and move on. I need to let it go...

But some people took it as kami ni mengeluh. Tak bersyukur dgn nikmat lain yg Allah bagi kat kami ni. At least that was my impression bila baca some of the comment kat those entry. Tak tau la kot i yg salah tafsir, mungkin reader yg komen tu x berniat mcm tu... but, since i terasa jugak, meh la i nak clarify sket...

Please.... Don't judge us and said kami menidakkan nikmat lain yg kami terima, don't say that kami ni mengeluh. Kami tidak mengeluh! Pada i, mengeluh ni 'conotation'nya sgt negative. Apa yg tertulis di blog kami ni, cuma satu luahan rasa yang kami luahkan ketika itu. Diulangi, ketika itu. Entry at my TTCian friends ni pon, bukan lah setiap hari cerita benda sedih2... Kalau tiap2 hari dok tulis gitu, mungkin la bleh nak kata mengeluh. ni jarang2 sangat kot... tak adil rasanya untuk terus nak hukum yg kami ni asik mengeluh... Pada i x salah pun kalau sesiapa pun nak luahkan rasa sedih or rasa x puas hati kat blog dia... dah nama pun blog sendiri kan, ikut suka lah nak tulis apa.

My point is - don't be so quick to judge us. Fahamilah kami. Pls be careful when u put up your comment. We need your prayer, your support. Don't put us down further with negative comment. And if you don't have anything good to say, it is better to say nothing at all.