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Thursday, September 08, 2016

Time flies....

Time... That is what i'm lacking now. Or rather time management. 

It's been more than 2 weeks since we have our baby, Amna. Lintang pukang awal2 tu. Maklum la... X biasa. And my mental preparation was only 2 wks prior to her arrival. X mcm mothers lain who had 9 months to get ready. 

Honestly, i do feel stress. Especially bila Amna nangis yg i x tau punca. Feel so helpless. Rasa nk nangis sama. Hahaha... 

I demam malam kami bawa amna pulang ke rumah. Pakej skali ngan cirit birit. Imagine la nk suaikn diri dlm keadaan x sihat tu. 3 hari juga la i demam n cb. Lps pi klinik, mkn ubat baru ok.

The nite i pi klinik tu, balik dr klinik tu amna nk susu. Steriliser botol susu amna baru ja siap sterelised. Bila i buka penutupnya, habis tangan i kena steam panas.


Ni gambar 6 days after kena. A reminder to me sebenarnya. To Remain calm. Alhamdulillah today the wound dah elok baik.

Also Alhamdulillah, amna is not a fussy baby. Cuma skang ni ada problem on susu formula. Sepanjang duduk dgn her biological mother, she was breastfeed. I still don't have enough milk to feed her. So we opt for formula milk. Hari ke tiga Amna dgn kami, dia start sembelit. Kesian sgt... Terus kami tukar susu. Pun sembelit gak. Nangis2 nak berak sampai merah muka. Nangis yg paling teruk i penah tengok dia nangis... Huhuhu... Kitorang tukar lagi susu. This time around dah x sembelit, tapi amna asik la berak2. Then last skali tukar lagi susu. Kali ni nampak ok. Nangis juga sikit2 bila dia nak berak. Tapi x la sembelit mcm dulu. Perut dia masih gassy. Kentut memanjang. Kesian amna...

Pls doakan susu i cepat keluar. I did try bf ke amna, tapi dia nangis protes sbb susu i sikit sgt. Dua tiga kali sedut dah x dop. Huhuhu... Doakan Allah permudahkan utk i jadikan amna anak susuan kami... Amin...

Banyak nak cerita psl amna. But i still fail bab time management. And i still owe u guys cerita on prosedur anak pelihara and anak angkat. InsyaAllah... I'll write about it...

Till then...

Friday, September 02, 2016

Induce Lactation


I memang dah lama niat, kalau ambil anak angkat, i nak jadikan dia as anak susuan. Selain mudah untuk kami jaga aurat sekeluarga, breastfeeding is actually a bonding time. 

18 August 2016

I met the lactation consultant at Hospital Pantai Bangsar. She is a freelancer, but the hospital given her an office there. Masa consultation tu dia tanya macam2 la... Penah buat rawatan kesuburan ke tak, penah mengandung ke tak, bila nk dapat baby, waktu kerja bila, waktu rehat bila etc. Basically the interview adalah untuk memudahkan dia merancang plan to induce milk yg sesuai dgn gaya hidup kita. 


Then the consultant tgk physical appearance of the breast and show how the pumping session is done. I don't have to worry about buying pump lagi for now, sebab the consultant tu bagi sewa pump for rm200/month. According to her, better pakai hospital grade pump because it is for stimulation purpose. The one in commercial market, lebih sesuai kalau untuk express milk for those yg ada susu. Sbb i malas nk pikir, ok la... Just use the rental 🙊🙊🙊



In addition, i have to take 2 medication - ubat herba (halba) dan motilium. And i am required to do at least 6 pumping session in a day. 

23 August 2016

I've been pumping for 6 days. Religously mind u... I even do more often then the plan laid out by my consultant. 

Based on my reading, sebenarnya stimulation is far more important than hormon treatment. Sbb bila u stimulate, the stimulation will send signal to ur body that u need to produce milk. The stimulation i.e the pumping mimics baby sucking for milk. 

On day 3, i started pumping every 3 hours. Nak senang ingat, at 6am, 9am, 12pm, 3 pm, 6pm, 9pm, 12 am and 3am. And the cycle goes... 

And today, alhamdulillah, i dah nampak little tiny dots of clear liquid, (like saliva in texture keluar frm u know where). My consultant said it is a positive sign that my body responding well to the stimulation. 


25 August 2016


My first dot of susu perhaps? So excited this morning bila tgk kat corong tu ada susu lekat. Tak pe la baru setitik pun... Alhamdulillah... Bagi semangat nk susukan...

28 August 2016

Alhamdulillah, dah makin bertambah a few drop of susu setiap kali pump. Cuma kena banyak minum air... 

Harap harapnya dapat la jadi banyak nanti. Smg ada rezeki for my daughter...

29 August 2016

Went to see the lactation consultant. Kali ni dia ajar perah susu dgn tangan lepas pump n kumpul susu2 tu... Every drop is precious! 


Pls Doakan i ya 😊 smg ada rezeki my baby nk jadi anak susuan... 

P/s: Kalau nak tau detail pengalaman i about induce lactation, email me ya... 







Thursday, September 01, 2016

The Progress

20 August 2016

It's been a week since we made the decision. Today, i ponteng kelas 🙊🙊🙊🙊 pi beli barang2 for my baby. Since i x tau barang apa i nak beli utk baby ni, my husband ajak my sil n mil to join us. Seronok tgk mil pun semangat nak sambut my baby 😊

OMG!!! Seronok gila sopping eh!!! Bukan apa, excited tgk baju2 baby girl... Cantik2... My sil n mil advised us barang apa nak beli, apa yg x perlu. Kind of educational shopping if u asked me 🙊. 

Balik umah, terus prepare tempat nak letak baju baby. Baju2 yg dah dibeli siap2 cabut tag harga. Later2 la kita basuh. At the same time, jot down juga apa barang2 yg masih x cukup lagi.

22 August 2016

We have finalised the date to take our adopted baby from her mother. It is on 30th Aug! Am so excited!!! X sabar nk jumpa my baby... We'll have a long journey to plan n travel nxt wk. Can't wait! 😁
Nanti i cerita how is the process ya...


23 August 2016

Hari ni baby dah kluar dr spital. Alhamdulillah. Antibiotic course dah abis smalam, result darah dah clear. Cuma test air kencing ada protein. Doc said that most probably dr jangkitan masa lahir hari tu. The positive side, bacaan protein tu makin menurun. Doc kata jumaat ni test sekali lagi utk pastikn bacaan protein dlm air kencing makin turun. Otherwise it could be a sign of kidney problem. 

Ya Allah... Risaunya i... Hopefully my baby will be OK. She is far away from me. Nothing i can do but pray that Allah will protect her always... 

I have not meet her yet, i only see her pictures. But i know i love her already... 



Hari Hari Yang Seterusnya...

15 August 2016

Time to put plan into motion. Pagi2 i dah ngadap boss and inform him that I'll be taking unpaid leave for 2 months to care for my newborn adopted child. Alhamdulillah...boss i OK ja... Then, shoot to KLCC. Had lunch with my BFF. Waktu i share the news with her, i siap nangis lagi tau! kat Secret Recipe masa tu. Org yg mkn sebelah kitorang heran agaknya tgk apasal la minah ni nangis... huuhuhu... that was a happy tears OK. I can't count how many times i have cried talking about my baby. Even lepas solat pon i nangis sbb rasa syukur sgt Allah bagi peluang ni... After lunch, jumpa my indirect boss and inform her my plan as well. Alhamdulillah, settle...

16 August 2016

In the morning, went to clinic yg i slalu pegi, tanya if klinik dia ada bagi ubat for induce lactation. The answer was NO. The doc asked me to see my Gynea instead. So i set an appointment on the next day to meet my gynea.

Then I submitted my Unpaid Leave application form. Held department meeting to inform my staff. All of them was happy for me. They knew how i wanted baby so much (or were they happy sebab i'll be going on leave for 2 months? hhuhuhuhu :-P)

17 August 2016

Pagi2, pi PHKL. Jumpa my gynea. Turn out that I should see a Lactation Consultant sepatutnya. So I contacted the number given. But the consultant was not around that day. I made an appointment with her the next day.

I got a call from the person in charge (PIC) in arranging the adoption. My baby is still in hospital. Doc dah mulakan antibiotik. Result darah masih belum dapat. I risau... Smg Allah lindungi my baby...

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

The Decision

Backdated Entry:

12 August 2016

Friday, the Blessed day of the week. 11.36 am. I was browsing my lappy kat opis, tgh tgk barang2 nak beli utk bakal anak kucen i. This was the starting point, when my life starts on emotional roller coaster journey.

My phone's ring out a tone signaling A wassap msg coming. It was from my sister, saying that a baby is available for adoption, the mother is at the hospital already and whether i want to adopt the baby or not... 


And i was like 😱😱😱😱😱 whattt???!!!! Is this really happening? Menggigil i dapat msg from my sister. I mmg x aktif mencari anak angkat. And up to some point i really wanted to try on my own.

It was so sudden, but my heart immediately wanted to say yes... but i'm working and i have classes on the weekend. The baby is newborn. Cemana i nak jaga? And a lot of other doubt came into my mind.
I told my sister, to give me some time and let me discuss it over with MDH.

Lepas i bertenang seketika, i msg MDH about this. His answer just simple - "OK ja, but we need to plan for it". Ye la kan... We are taking responsibility of being a parent. We must be responsible in making decision.

OK, OK... Let's do some plan... the big question yg i terfikir masa tu, siapa nak jaga baby masa i pi keje. Sapa nak jaga baby masa i pegi kelas on weekend? I kerja and ada kelas on weekend, masa bila nak bonding ngan baby? Ya Allah...boleh ke i nak jaga baby, keje and study? Boleh ke?

OK, OK... tarik nafas...lepas...tarik nafas... lepas... Calm down! Think it through... Take step by step...
We need to plan if we want to make this happend.

First thing first -  baby sitter. Siapa i nak carik jadik baby sitter ni? OK...Let's google taska or baby sitter area around my house. Browsing the internet...browsing... ni iklan lama... Taska ni macam tak ambik newborn... huhuhuhu... OK, jom tanya jiran sebelah umah, mana dia hantar anak dia. And nak tak babysitter dia ambik baby...

Msg Masuk - jiran kata, babysitter dia tanak dah jaga baby. Jiran i suggest tanya kat akak yg duduk selang a few houses from mine. Skang ni dia jaga sorang budak ja... So i asked akak A. Alhamdulillah, she said yes!!! Yes! Settle satu perkara on babysitter.

Now on weekend... let's ask my sister. Rumah dia x jauh dr tempat i belajar... and yes, she said yes as well.

But, i think i kena ambik cuti la...nak bonding ngan baby, and nak focus on induce lactation so that i boleh jadikan baby ni anak susuan... i need to take unpaid leave. Errr...cukup ka simpanan nk meet commitment? Let's calculate... hmm... OK kot kalau nak take unpaid leave 2 months...

And i smile...
Lega...terus lega... sebab now i have a plan :-) Next step; further discussion with MDH.


13 August 2016

The baby was born today! Baby girl. My sister sent her photo, and my heart melted... just melted... (sigh...). I was in my class during that time. And God... susahnya nak control the feeling. Yes, I cried in my class... during the 10-minutes-break-that-the lecturer-gave-us-in-between-the-lecture-where-i-check-my-hp-for-whatssap-messages. After that, i just loose my focus. Just teringatkan the baby, what would be the final decision that we will make, a lot of preparation that we need to do sebab if we were to decide that we want the baby, we need to prepare everything in 2 weeks! Seriously, I just want to lie down and think...


14 August 2016

Over the 2 days, we (me & MDH) think it through... It is 100% for me. Coz bagi i, ini rezeki.I still remember my doa masa last Ramadhan... Kalau cara nak perolehi anak ialah dengan berusaha on our own, I minta Allah murahkan rezeki kami dan permudahkan urusan kami. But if it is dengan cara ambil anak angkat, I minta Allah lorongkan jalan tu.And here it is... Allah dah lorongkan. So I'm 100% yes.

MDH still thinking over the 2 days. I understand... My MIL is still battling her cancer, has a few rounds of chemo. And to have additional responsibility and amanah, it is not an easy decision sebab kat akhirat nanti Allah akan tanya balik sama ada kami tunaikan amanah tu dgn baik ke tak. But in the end, he decided and it is YES! Alhamdulillah... May Allah ease our journey in this...

I was prepared to have a kitten. I end up having a baby :-) Nikmat Tuhan kamu yg manakah kamu mahu dustakan? (crying....)

Please, do pray for us ya... May Allah permudahkan persediaan kami...

p/s: remember my entry Hello? It was all about this :-)

Monday, August 29, 2016

It's tomorrow!


Can't wait! U all pun tertanya tanya kan... Hehhehe... Poyo je i buat countdown... 

Don't worry...
Esok akan terjawab segalanya...

Sapa nak teka countdown utk apa... Meh teka...

Till then 😊

Are we ready?


If u asked me, yes... I'm ready since the past 11 years 😊