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Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Anak Susuan - My journey so far

As mentioned before, i memang dah niat nak jadikan Amna anak susuan i. Selain dari memudahkan isu aurat, i want Amna to grow up with my milk and nak lagi kuatkan bonding kami as mother and child.

It is not an easy journey...

Masa bulan pertama ambik amna, rutin pam i terganggu. Masih x biasakan diri lagi dgn new routine of having a baby. Bila x konsisten pam, pengeluaran susu terbantut. elok2 i dah ada susu sikit2, pengeluaran susu tu jadi x meningkat and ada penurunan sikit... 

Kalau nak ikutkan give up, banyak kali dah i give up. Penat. Sebab Amna x mau nyusu direct feed coz susu i sikit sangat. Pls bear in mind, i dapat Amna masa dia dah 2 minggu. She was already fully breast feed with her biological mother. So bila i try nak susukan dia, (supaya dia dapat rangsang susu i), dia meraung raung x nak sebab sikit gila susu i. 2-3 kali sedut abih dah. Huhuhu... Bila i bagi masa dia dah kenyang, dia tak nak pulak. I tried use medela nursing system, susahnya ya Allah... susah nak control baby yg x sabar nk susu, susah nak control flow susu. So the first 2 months tu mmg usaha nak direct feed hancur. 

Everytime org/nurse kata kat i 'bagi ja breast feed kat dia' i stress.... Coz that person x nampak cemana Amna nangis dgn teruk tak nak direct breast feed. Pastu, tak nak pulak guide i cemana cara nak bagi Amna direct feed. My lactation consultant terus MIA. She didn't answer my msg. Sedih sgt... I banyak baca from internet ja. 

And now, Amna dah biasa dgn botol, memang dia tolak terus direct feed. X reti dah nak isap. Siap 'gag' lagi bila try direct feed. Now i dah masuk kerja, and my exam is in another 3 weeks, Memang i x tumpu pun nak ajar Amna breast feed direct again. X sempat, coz it requires effort. What i do now, memang mengharapkan pam je la... And squeez all the milk manually, kumpul pakai syringe.

Last week i pi mengurut, alhamdulillah ada la meningkat sikit. But still I have a long way to go.

Sepanjang 2 bulan setengah Amna bersama kami, i kumpul la sikit2 susu i. 



Max i pernah dapat dalam satu hari ialah 4-5ml. Average - 3ml. Huhuhuhu...just imagine... 1 oz equivalent to 30ml. Amna kenyang betul with 3oz. And in a day i cuma dapat 3 ml. Akhirnya dalam 2 bulan setengah mengumpul tu, Last monday, baru i dapat kumpul 3.5oz. And Alhamdulillah Amna dah berjaya disusukan sekali kenyang. 

Sebak sangat bila dah susukan Amna sekali kenyang tu. Remembering all the effort, mmg mengalir la air mata happy sbb dapat dah sekali kenyang. So, 4 more to go. I know it is not an easy journey, But i will get there... doa x pernah putus. Harap u all pun dapat doakan i supaya dapat susukan Amna not only cukup untuk jadi anak susuan, but cukup untuk dia sehingga dia berumur dua tahun. Amin...

Till then :-)

Monday, November 07, 2016

Spelling and usage of english word

Ok, i bukan la terer sgt english ni. Smtimes i pon ada salah eja. But if u encounter wrong spelling or wrong word used yg boleh bagi makna lain, would u tegur that person? Bgtau yg wassap dia/updates dia di blog/fb ada salah guna perkataan or wrong spelling?

Sbb mcm serba salah... takut salah paham berlaku kalo ditegur, kalau x tegur pulak, kesian plak kt org tu. 

Kalau i rapat ngan org tu, i akan tegur. Kalau i x rapat, i x berani nk tegur sbb takut teguran disalah ertikan... 

How about u?


Ni contoh... nak kata door gift jadi doggie πŸ˜…

Till then 😘

Thursday, November 03, 2016

The Decision

Backdated Entry:

12 August 2016

Friday, the Blessed day of the week. 11.36 am. I was browsing my lappy kat opis, tgh tgk barang2 nak beli utk bakal anak kucen i. This was the starting point, when my life starts on emotional roller coaster journey.

My phone's ring out a tone signaling A wassap msg coming. It was from my sister, saying that a baby is available for adoption, the mother is at the hospital already and whether i want to adopt the baby or not... 


And i was like 😱😱😱😱😱 whattt???!!!! Is this really happening? Menggigil i dapat msg from my sister. I mmg x aktif mencari anak angkat. And up to some point i really wanted to try on my own.

It was so sudden, but my heart immediately wanted to say yes... but i'm working and i have classes on the weekend. The baby is newborn. Cemana i nak jaga? And a lot of other doubt came into my mind.
I told my sister, to give me some time and let me discuss it over with MDH.

Lepas i bertenang seketika, i msg MDH about this. His answer just simple - "OK ja, but we need to plan for it". Ye la kan... We are taking responsibility of being a parent. We must be responsible in making decision.

OK, OK... Let's do some plan... the big question yg i terfikir masa tu, siapa nak jaga baby masa i pi keje. Sapa nak jaga baby masa i pegi kelas on weekend? I kerja and ada kelas on weekend, masa bila nak bonding ngan baby? Ya Allah...boleh ke i nak jaga baby, keje and study? Boleh ke?

OK, OK... tarik nafas...lepas...tarik nafas... lepas... Calm down! Think it through... Take step by step...
We need to plan if we want to make this happend.

First thing first -  baby sitter. Siapa i nak carik jadik baby sitter ni? OK...Let's google taska or baby sitter area around my house. Browsing the internet...browsing... ni iklan lama... Taska ni macam tak ambik newborn... huhuhuhu... OK, jom tanya jiran sebelah umah, mana dia hantar anak dia. And nak tak babysitter dia ambik baby...

Msg Masuk - jiran kata, babysitter dia tanak dah jaga baby. Jiran i suggest tanya kat akak yg duduk selang a few houses from mine. Skang ni dia jaga sorang budak ja... So i asked akak A. Alhamdulillah, she said yes!!! Yes! Settle satu perkara on babysitter.

Now on weekend... let's ask my sister. Rumah dia x jauh dr tempat i belajar... and yes, she said yes as well.

But, i think i kena ambik cuti la...nak bonding ngan baby, and nak focus on induce lactation so that i boleh jadikan baby ni anak susuan... i need to take unpaid leave. Errr...cukup ka simpanan nk meet commitment? Let's calculate... hmm... OK kot kalau nak take unpaid leave 2 months...

And i smile...
Lega...terus lega... sebab now i have a plan :-) Next step; further discussion with MDH.


13 August 2016

I was told that the baby was born yesterday! Baby girl. My sister sent her photo, and my heart melted... just melted... (sigh...). I was in my class during that time. And God... susahnya nak control the feeling. Yes, I cried in my class... during the 10-minutes-break-that-the lecturer-gave-us-in-between-the-lecture-where-i-check-my-hp-for-whatssap-messages. After that, i just loose my focus. Just teringatkan the baby, what would be the final decision that we will make, a lot of preparation that we need to do sebab if we were to decide that we want the baby, we need to prepare everything in 2 weeks! Seriously, I just want to lie down and think...


14 August 2016

Over the 2 days, we (me & MDH) think it through... It is 100% for me. Coz bagi i, ini rezeki.I still remember my doa masa last Ramadhan... Kalau cara nak perolehi anak ialah dengan berusaha on our own, I minta Allah murahkan rezeki kami dan permudahkan urusan kami. But if it is dengan cara ambil anak angkat, I minta Allah lorongkan jalan tu.And here it is... Allah dah lorongkan. So I'm 100% yes.

MDH still thinking over the 2 days. I understand... My MIL is still battling her cancer, has a few rounds of chemo. And to have additional responsibility and amanah, it is not an easy decision sebab kat akhirat nanti Allah akan tanya balik sama ada kami tunaikan amanah tu dgn baik ke tak. But in the end, he decided and it is YES! Alhamdulillah... May Allah ease our journey in this...

I was prepared to have a kitten. I end up having a baby :-) Nikmat Tuhan kamu yg manakah kamu mahu dustakan? (crying....)

Please, do pray for us ya... May Allah permudahkan persediaan kami...

p/s: remember my entry Hello? It was all about this :-)

Adoption Process/ Proses Pengangkatan Anak Pelihara/ Anak Angkat

Hello dear readers... Masih ada lagi ka readers blog sendu ni. Hahahaha... Anyway, how are u? I doakan smg u all sihat sejahtera dan diberikan kelapangan hati buat semua.

I'm back to the office since last tuesday. After 2 months of leave, memang lemau ler nak masuk opis balik. But life must go on... x keje, x dop gaji la pulak kan... huhuhu...mengumpul kekuatan dan semangat. Masa keje mmg dok teringat Amna. X zabar eh hakak ni nak balik umah jumpa Amna... hehehehe...

Orait... i still hutang u all cerita on the process of adoption kan... Memula ingat complicated la sangat sebab nak kena pi court bagai... rupanya idak la complicated mana...

Orait... on 30/8, i and My Dear Hubby pegi court untuk proces akuan bersumpah mengambil Amna sebagai anak angkat kami. We met Amna's biological mother kat court tu. Sebab the biological mother kena buat akuan bersumpah juga mengatakan dia serahkan anak tu pada keluarga angkat. Pesuruhjaya sumpah di mahkamah tu kemudiannya akan buat pengesahan dan legalisekan document akuan tu. You need to retain both original copy of akuan bersumpah tu (akuan ibu kandung yang menyerahkan anak and akuan keluarga angkat yg mengambil) untuk proses pengangkatan dan mendaftarkan pengangkatan tu di Jabatan Pendaftaran Negara (JPN) selepas 2 tahun dari tarikh ambil baby.

Lepas settle kat court, baru la kami jumpa Amna, dan bawa Amna pulang ke rumah kami. 

But the process doesn't stop here. Sebab kanak2 di Malaysia ni dilindungi bawah Akta Kanak-Kanak yang mewajibkan sesiapa yg ambil anak angkat, untuk memberitahu Jabatan Kebajikan Masyarakat (JKM)  - Bahagian Kanak2 tentang hal ini. Pemberitahuan mesti dibuat dalam tempoh 7 hari dari tarikh ambil baby/anak angkat. Kalau lambat boleh dikenakan hukuman denda rm10k or penjara 2 tahun kot kalo x silap. Cara nak beritahu, isi borang 12. Borang ni boleh minta dengan JKM. Atau kalau pengangkatan melalui rumah perlindungan, i diberitahu biasanya dorang akan sediakan. U all just need to submit the form pada JKM berdekatan dgn rumah u all.

Lepas submit borang 12 ni, nanti pegawai in charge akan panggil untuk interview pasangan yg ambil anak pelihara ni. sekali tu ja interview. I was told dulu2 ada dibuat lawatan ke rumah dalam tempoh 2 tahun tu. Skang dah x buat dah. Lepas interview, kalau pegawai tu puas hati yg anak pelihara tu akan terbela nasibnya duduk dgn keluarga angkatnya, pegawai JKM tu akan keluarkan borang 13, yg menyatakan sokongan pengangkatan. Borang ni nanti akan digunakan sebagai supporting utk memohon sijil pengangkatan dari Jabatan Pendaftaran Negara and sahkan yang anak tu anak angkat kita dari segi undang2. FYI, selagi x disahkan oleh JPN, anak tu masih boleh diambil semula oleh keluarga kandungnya... 

Alhamdulillah...Kami dah terima borang 13 dari pegawai JKM. So now, kita tunggu la 2 tahun... after 30/8/2018, kami dah boleh start pendaftaran anak angkat di JPN. Kalau umur panjang, and blog ni idup lagi juga ada kesempatan, I'll share how the process kat JPN nanti :-)

InsyaAllah, I'll try to update lebih kerap kat sini... Actually I banyak update kat my ig @ninaafida, almost every day. Tu yg jarang blogwalking skang nih... And if u r my blog reader, say hi to me kat my ig ya :-)

Till then...

Thursday, September 08, 2016

Time flies....

Time... That is what i'm lacking now. Or rather time management. 

It's been more than 2 weeks since we have our baby, Amna. Lintang pukang awal2 tu. Maklum la... X biasa. And my mental preparation was only 2 wks prior to her arrival. X mcm mothers lain who had 9 months to get ready. 

Honestly, i do feel stress. Especially bila Amna nangis yg i x tau punca. Feel so helpless. Rasa nk nangis sama. Hahaha... 

I demam malam kami bawa amna pulang ke rumah. Pakej skali ngan cirit birit. Imagine la nk suaikn diri dlm keadaan x sihat tu. 3 hari juga la i demam n cb. Lps pi klinik, mkn ubat baru ok.

The nite i pi klinik tu, balik dr klinik tu amna nk susu. Steriliser botol susu amna baru ja siap sterelised. Bila i buka penutupnya, habis tangan i kena steam panas.


Ni gambar 6 days after kena. A reminder to me sebenarnya. To Remain calm. Alhamdulillah today the wound dah elok baik.

Also Alhamdulillah, amna is not a fussy baby. Cuma skang ni ada problem on susu formula. Sepanjang duduk dgn her biological mother, she was breastfeed. I still don't have enough milk to feed her. So we opt for formula milk. Hari ke tiga Amna dgn kami, dia start sembelit. Kesian sgt... Terus kami tukar susu. Pun sembelit gak. Nangis2 nak berak sampai merah muka. Nangis yg paling teruk i penah tengok dia nangis... Huhuhu... Kitorang tukar lagi susu. This time around dah x sembelit, tapi amna asik la berak2. Then last skali tukar lagi susu. Kali ni nampak ok. Nangis juga sikit2 bila dia nak berak. Tapi x la sembelit mcm dulu. Perut dia masih gassy. Kentut memanjang. Kesian amna...

Pls doakan susu i cepat keluar. I did try bf ke amna, tapi dia nangis protes sbb susu i sikit sgt. Dua tiga kali sedut dah x dop. Huhuhu... Doakan Allah permudahkan utk i jadikan amna anak susuan kami... Amin...

Banyak nak cerita psl amna. But i still fail bab time management. And i still owe u guys cerita on prosedur anak pelihara and anak angkat. InsyaAllah... I'll write about it...

Till then...

Friday, September 02, 2016

Induce Lactation


I memang dah lama niat, kalau ambil anak angkat, i nak jadikan dia as anak susuan. Selain mudah untuk kami jaga aurat sekeluarga, breastfeeding is actually a bonding time. 

18 August 2016

I met the lactation consultant at Hospital Pantai Bangsar. She is a freelancer, but the hospital given her an office there. Masa consultation tu dia tanya macam2 la... Penah buat rawatan kesuburan ke tak, penah mengandung ke tak, bila nk dapat baby, waktu kerja bila, waktu rehat bila etc. Basically the interview adalah untuk memudahkan dia merancang plan to induce milk yg sesuai dgn gaya hidup kita. 


Then the consultant tgk physical appearance of the breast and show how the pumping session is done. I don't have to worry about buying pump lagi for now, sebab the consultant tu bagi sewa pump for rm200/month. According to her, better pakai hospital grade pump because it is for stimulation purpose. The one in commercial market, lebih sesuai kalau untuk express milk for those yg ada susu. Sbb i malas nk pikir, ok la... Just use the rental πŸ™ŠπŸ™ŠπŸ™Š



In addition, i have to take 2 medication - ubat herba (halba) dan motilium. And i am required to do at least 6 pumping session in a day. 

23 August 2016

I've been pumping for 6 days. Religously mind u... I even do more often then the plan laid out by my consultant. 

Based on my reading, sebenarnya stimulation is far more important than hormon treatment. Sbb bila u stimulate, the stimulation will send signal to ur body that u need to produce milk. The stimulation i.e the pumping mimics baby sucking for milk. 

On day 3, i started pumping every 3 hours. Nak senang ingat, at 6am, 9am, 12pm, 3 pm, 6pm, 9pm, 12 am and 3am. And the cycle goes... 

And today, alhamdulillah, i dah nampak little tiny dots of clear liquid, (like saliva in texture keluar frm u know where). My consultant said it is a positive sign that my body responding well to the stimulation. 


25 August 2016


My first dot of susu perhaps? So excited this morning bila tgk kat corong tu ada susu lekat. Tak pe la baru setitik pun... Alhamdulillah... Bagi semangat nk susukan...

28 August 2016

Alhamdulillah, dah makin bertambah a few drop of susu setiap kali pump. Cuma kena banyak minum air... 

Harap harapnya dapat la jadi banyak nanti. Smg ada rezeki for my daughter...

29 August 2016

Went to see the lactation consultant. Kali ni dia ajar perah susu dgn tangan lepas pump n kumpul susu2 tu... Every drop is precious! 


Pls Doakan i ya 😊 smg ada rezeki my baby nk jadi anak susuan... 

P/s: Kalau nak tau detail pengalaman i about induce lactation, email me ya... 







Thursday, September 01, 2016

The Progress

20 August 2016

It's been a week since we made the decision. Today, i ponteng kelas πŸ™ŠπŸ™ŠπŸ™ŠπŸ™Š pi beli barang2 for my baby. Since i x tau barang apa i nak beli utk baby ni, my husband ajak my sil n mil to join us. Seronok tgk mil pun semangat nak sambut my baby 😊

OMG!!! Seronok gila sopping eh!!! Bukan apa, excited tgk baju2 baby girl... Cantik2... My sil n mil advised us barang apa nak beli, apa yg x perlu. Kind of educational shopping if u asked me πŸ™Š. 

Balik umah, terus prepare tempat nak letak baju baby. Baju2 yg dah dibeli siap2 cabut tag harga. Later2 la kita basuh. At the same time, jot down juga apa barang2 yg masih x cukup lagi.

22 August 2016

We have finalised the date to take our adopted baby from her mother. It is on 30th Aug! Am so excited!!! X sabar nk jumpa my baby... We'll have a long journey to plan n travel nxt wk. Can't wait! 😁
Nanti i cerita how is the process ya...


23 August 2016

Hari ni baby dah kluar dr spital. Alhamdulillah. Antibiotic course dah abis smalam, result darah dah clear. Cuma test air kencing ada protein. Doc said that most probably dr jangkitan masa lahir hari tu. The positive side, bacaan protein tu makin menurun. Doc kata jumaat ni test sekali lagi utk pastikn bacaan protein dlm air kencing makin turun. Otherwise it could be a sign of kidney problem. 

Ya Allah... Risaunya i... Hopefully my baby will be OK. She is far away from me. Nothing i can do but pray that Allah will protect her always... 

I have not meet her yet, i only see her pictures. But i know i love her already...