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Thursday, May 24, 2012

The truth

7 May - after negative blood test result, doc asked me to come to the clinic for second test. The bleeding hasn't stop since last friday (4th May). Though it was still small spotting, it was fresh blood.

Doc asked me how i feel. I just said  'i'm ok. It just feel that i'm going to have a period soon'. But according to her, my spotting was too early to be called period spotting. She asked to scan me just to confirm what was happening inside.

Once the probe was inside me, there they are...the 2embryos that were placed inside my uterus. I can see it clearly. Just a tiny 2 little dot which according to doc look like 2 baby sac. The doc said looking at the embryos, it seems like i am pregnant. I was speechless. She move the probe to get different view of the embies and still came to the same conclusion. She asked me to take another blood test just to confirm and i need to take progesteron injection just in case i was pregnant. Mind u, the injection hurt like h**** coz it was oil base.

I drove home with a tiny little hope, but a little cautious coz i can feel that i was not pregnant at all. I loose all the symptom already. And as u know, the rest is history. During that day when i wrote about the 2nd negative blood test result, i still can't bear to tell you my dear readers what i've seen and experience that day. Seeing the 2 embies, just made it so real and i can't bear to think about the lost at that time. I just want to move on with my life. But at the same time, I can't stop thinking 'what could have been' should both of the embies implanted. In the end, i just accept it as it is. My time has yet to come and Allah do have other plan for me.

The next day, after a confirm negative urine test (doc asked me to take urine test just to triple confirm) i stop all progesteron support. And later the blood flow increased and i had a bad cramp during the period.

It seems just like yesterday it had happend. Last monday, again went to see my doc, just to check my overall condition. Alhamdulillah, everything is ok. Insya Allah, we will try for 2nd round fresh ivf cycle after Raya. Hopefully this time around the result would be positive :-)

Have a nice day everyone!


  1. Ameenn. Berkat doa, harap2 penantian kita semua akan berakhir tak lama lagi. Stay strong! :D

  2. TQ Sash... I slalu doakan yg terbaik untuk kawan2 TTC sumer :-)

  3. insyaAllah pasti ada rezeki nanti..

  4. Insya Allah.... Akak yakin ketentuan Allah ada hikmahnya :-)

  5. insyaAllah ST.
    jgn putus asa shj k :)

  6. InsyaAllah, akan terus berusaha selagi mampu :-)

  7. *hugs*

    InsyaAllah masanya akan tiba..mungkin bukan sekarang..tapi satu hari yang indah..

    Nak proceed after raya? wah so soon...anyway, Good Luck ya..moga berjaya..

  8. dear...sorry to heat this but im sure ur strong enough to overcome this. My doa is always with u. never loose hope. hugs!!

  9. TQ B&C, for now that is the plan :-) But subject to Keizinan Nya :-)

    Mira, TQ :-) I'm stronger with the support of all of u :-)