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Wednesday, May 20, 2015

A Lesson on Life

Often, life turnout not as we expected. I rasa semua orang mesti ada 'life story line' yang digarap sejak kecil. Paling koman pun, mesti ada cita-cita. Nak jadi doktor, nak jadi engineer, nak jadi cikgu etc. Tak kurang nak jadi perdana menteri, nak jadi angkasawan, nak jadi orang kaya pun ada :-)

Seiring dengan usia, jalan cerita hidup kita berkembang dan ditambah baik mengikut laluan yg dipilih.

What did i imagine my life would be when i was a kid?

Masa sekolah rendah, my storyline was dah besar nanti i nak jadi doktor. Why doktor? Honestly, saving lives was not in mind when i choose that ambition. I suka tengok gaya2 doktor dalam TV. Nampak bijak, and proses pembedahan yang ditunjukkan dlm TV nampak sangat adventurous. Huhuhuhu... ini la pemikiran i masa kanak2 dulu.

Up until i was in form 3, lakaran kehidupan i, masih lagi mengimpikan untuk menjadi seorang doktor. Pakar Orthopedic kali ni :-P again, i like something yang adventurous. And Orthopedic sounds fun. Don't ask me why Orthopedic, coz i don't even remember where did the idea came from. Huhuhuhu..

But again, bila naik tingkatan 4, my mum asked me not to take science class. Because she knew, i ni bukan otak science. Being a good daughter, i took science social class, which offered aliran agama + accounting. There goes my ambition nak jadi doktor... heheheh... so, i pasang cita-cita baru nak jadi peguam. Bukan peguam biasa, tapi peguam syariah. Coz i took subject Syariah  masa ni and i luv it :-)

After SPM, alhamdulillah... I had good result. But again, my mum x agree i ambik law. My mum takut nanti i bela orang salah... huhuhu... Actually, i have applied for law program @ UIA. And atas nasihat a friend of mine, i changed it to Economics & Business course instead. This time around, my target is to be an accountant.

Zaman skolah and zaman uni, adalah zaman i belajar banyak benda. Bukan saja about academic, but also about hala tuju hidup, makna hidup and also belajar to return something to society. I was kind of an active student. Joining students society, buat program dengan masyarakat sana sini... I believe that was where i developed my leadership. Masa zaman uni ni la baru i buat story line baru about my love life. Looking at my frens yg dah bercintan cintun masa tu, of course i mengimpikan to have someone yang akan jaga i. Hahaha...tapi nan hado bopren masa zaman uni ni :-P  Rupanya hikmah besar, sebab jodoh i bukan dari kalangan teman2 di laman ilmu tu...

I grad in 2002, terus dapat kerja dengan audit firm. Sempat kerja dalam 6 bulan, i dapat panggilan interview di Terengganu at one of OnG company. I still remember how my parent supported me, they both hantar i pi terengganu, untuk hadiri interview ni. And i still remember my answer... when the panel interviewer asked me, why i want this job... I said; i want to help my parent, balas jasa dorang and senangkan hidup dorang. And berkat doa my parents, i got the job.

Ada reason rupanya, kenapa rezeki i dapat kerja tu. And that reason was my husband :-) Rupanya, melalui rezeki kerja i, I ditemukan dgn jodoh i. I ni jenis x suka kawan lama2. Even masa mula2 kawan ngan my husband, i asked him hala tuju this relationship. We dated for 6 months, then got engaged. And 4 months later, kami kahwin. Allah permudahkan untuk kami.

At this stage, i dreamt of having lots of kids. But Allah knows better. When i was diagnosed with blocked fallopian tubes, i was really upset. Wanita mana yg x sedih bila doktor bagitau 'Awak takkan dapat mengandung secara natural'. Rasa mcm diri ni x sempurna. Masa tu, x pandai lagi nak search info kat internet. I rasa so alone... sorang2, except for the support from my hubby. It was not an easy phase . And the rest is history (u can read my TTC journey for the rest...).

Banyak yg i belajar from being a TTCian ni... I learn to be patience. I learn to appreciate little things. I learn to be happy with what I have. 'Make a lemonade out of lemon' kata org tu... Be positive.

But the ultimate lesson i learnt;  'everything happened for a reason'. We may or may not know what is the reason behind it, but I really believe that Allah knows best.

Life may not went in a way that i want, but it definitely goes on the way that Allah's Will. Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal...

14 comments:

  1. My first ambition is to be a pilot! Kelaut jadinya!

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    1. hehehhe... x jadik pilot pun u dah keseberang laut ;-)

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  2. Suke tajuk ni...takyah banyakla..tak sangka kawen lambat pun..hihihi..dlm angan2 konon2 lepas abis u tros kawen..perasan tol akakmu ini..:-)

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    1. hehehhe... rasanya most of us mmg plan nk kawin cepat kot kak...even saya pun...

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  3. Memang process ttc ni sangat mencabar jiwa raga kan kak. Sejujurnya hanya Allah SWT aje yang mengerti apa yang ada jauh di dalam hati. Ujian, kegagalan, kesedihan semua tu lah sebenarnya yang menguatkan kita..

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    1. betui sash, i kind of thinking ujian ni sebenarnya persediaan utk kita live our live. kalo TTC bleh dilalui, the rest tu kompem kacang je kot... :-)

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  4. Sy cita2 dr kecik nk jd doktor...dh besar sekrg jd cg je...tp ada satu part yg sangkut gak iaitu tulisan cam doktor,so blh agaklh tulisannnya camne.heheh......sekrg sgala impian lain alhamdulillah byk yg dimakbulkn Allah cuma part rezki tuk ada zuriat sendiri je belum lg...x pelah ..ada hikmah disebaliknya..manalah tau nnt2 Allah x bg seorang tp bg twins @ triplet ke...cuba positifkn diri..

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    1. heheheh...sama la cita2 kita :-) InshaAllah, kita sentiasa positive thinking.

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  5. Oohh akak ex UIA eh..hehe. saya dulu pun cita-cita nak jadi doktor. tapi form 3 bertukar nak jadi engineer pulak sebab suka subjek kemahiran hidup heheh. Sekarang ni bila dah berTTC ni rasa menyesal pulak kenapa dulu aku tak jadi je doktor pakar O&G??? Hahahaha :p

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    1. typical cita2 budak sekolah semua nak jadik doktor, engineer kan :-)

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  6. lama tak jengah sini.. 2-3 post terlepas ni.. huhu.. saya masa kekecik nak jadi cikgu -cita-cita standard budak sekolah.. lepas tu lecturer, sampai sekolah menengah.. lepas sekolah nak jadi engineer. masuk matriks tiba-tiba ambik sains hayat instead of sains fizik. lepas tu blur nak jadi apa dah..

    alhamdulillah sekarang jadi orang lah jugak. hehe.. memang betul, segala nya Tuhan dah rancang untuk kita. kita berusaha, kadang-kadang bila satu perkara berlaku tu, terus berubah jalan kita. contoh hal ttc ni lah.. ingat boleh jadi manusia normal, jalani hidup normal lepas belajar - kerja - - kawen - beranak - pencen.. tapi tulahh..

    special kita ni sebab hidup tak ikut templat. kita tabah.. kan?

    Alhamdulillah..

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    1. InshaAllah, Allah uji hanya pada yg mampu... semuanya penuh dgn hikmah disebaliknya :-)

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  7. dulu kecik2 ida tak nak jadik model HAHHAHAHHAHAH. bila dh besar, gemuk pendek rupanya, ke;aut gamaknya! hihihiii

    #allah uji sbb allah syg. enjoy life sementara ada. being mother or not, ada anak ke tak, bahagia tu datangnya dari dlm diri kita sendiri. pengalaman ida berhadapan dgn kawan2 yg baru bercerai, ada anak berderet TAPI kenapa lelaki sanggup cari pempuan lain???? tak tahu. syukurla kita masih ada family, masih ada suami yg support kita. tak da anak pun xpe. janji kita hidup bahagia foreever ! hehehe ~

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    1. ya ida,,, happiness is subjective... other people may think that they will not be happy if they don't have kids...but us, happy je kan :-)

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