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Friday, March 30, 2012

Sentap

Ya..... sentap. Dah lama x rasa sentap. Memang lama gila... been years i think... I have accepted my fate and am trying to overcome it. I am surrounded by positive people and lucky enough to have all the support that i need. That is why i never felt reluctant to share my journey and update.

Perhaps some people does not feel that the way they ask question could cause some other people rasa sentap. That is the fact that we have to accept. Bersangka baik dengan orang... aman idup kita... dari nak pikir apa motif dia tanya or cakap macam tu....itu lebih memeningkan kepala.

The conversation started as normal as it could be. We talked about works, about her kids and about married life... She asked me how long i've been married. I answered honestly: 7 years this year.She knows i do not have any kids. And perhaps, she was honestly just want to know if i did any treatment. But the question that came out from her mouth was "eh...lama dah tu... ko x buat apa2 ke?"

bila baca ayat ni balik, mmg nampak niat tu mcm nk tahu la... cumanya, the intonation and the way it came out from her mouth as if she meant that i didn't do anything and just duduk tunggu rezeki datang bergolek. That was why i rasa sentap sgt. I said to her...'jgn la cakap macam tu...mesti la saya usaha...siapa yg x nk anak?' And may be dia perasan yg i agak sentap ngan soklan dia, so she re-phrased her question dengan ayat yg lebih baik.

I answered her honestly. I told her my condition, my treatment and my plan. Kalau nk ikutkan, kami x la rapat sgt. We just a co-worker and we meet on occasions. It just happened that i sat next to her in the bus during our visit to depot last week. But for me, i don't mind sharing my journey. It is some sort of education for those kind if people. To let them know, hey... it's not that we didn't want kids... we just have to face a little bit of hardship and we hope that you would be a little bit sensitive and understand our feelings and condition.

I hope after our conversation, she would understand more about TTCian and be more tactful when asking such question.

After the conversation, i felt relived. At least there is extra one person who hopefully understand what we TTCian are going through.

On the other note, I went to see my gynea a day before yesterday. Alhamdulillah, everything looks ok. According to doc, I just ovulated :-). So i can expect my Aunt Flo would come visit within these 2 weeks. I'm so happy. I'm ready for the next step. Please pray for me dear readers.

6 comments:

  1. yeah i feel u sangat bila org kata "eh, tak buat apa2 ke?" i got that a lot and i really feel offended by those kinda question tapi bila fikir balik, diorang tak tahu apa yg kita lalui kan...so just forgive them je walau hati ni sakit....
    good luck dear! :D

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  2. Insyaallah dear! semoga berjalan lancar seperti yang dirancang. Bukan semua akan memahami kedudukan kita, macam i pon akan terasa sgt2, bila org bertanya begitu begini, tambah lagi kalau depan orang ramai/sedara mara yg lain. Dulu i slalu rasa rendah diri/malu sesangat. Kadang2 tu mmng terbabas jugak dengan emosi sendiri. Tapi kite kena kuat. Sabar paling penting. Insyaallah Allah Maha Mengetahui. Kita berusaha, selebihnya itu Hak Allah untuk memberi dan kabulkan doa kita semua :) Hugs!!
    Next week i pon akan start jumpe gynea balik :)

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  3. Ya Allah,, mudahkan perjalanan ttc sahabatku ini....amin

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  4. kak, my prayers are always wit u. good luck! ;)

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  5. Datin, TQ... uih...tuko nama lak?? hampir2 x cam :-)

    TQ Sash... good luck 2 u 2 :-)

    thanks for the doa nanoke...

    yannie, tq...

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  6. Anonymous12:43 pm

    dear sis, never give up k. i can feel you because i was at the same condition with you 4 yrs ago. I got my 1st kid after 5 yrs of marriage and the 2nd one came last year. Allah sayang kita, dia bg saya kosong utk 5 thn tp dlm ms 3 thn je dia bg saya 2 anak.. always pray & jgn lupa doakan juga kwn2 yg TTC.. so that Allah akan makbulkan doa kita jugak..

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