Usai solat maghrib tadi, termenung sejenak. Allah... lelah rasanya... Esok hari terakhir submission Board Paper. Tapi audited account i masih belum finalised... Board meeting is next week! And i was suppose to submit my paper a week before the meeting. Dah 3 kali i tunda tarikh submission. And tomorrow was my last chance. Kalau tidak, bersedialah untuk kena marah dgn Board Members... Serabut otak i mikir... Berat rasa bebanan kerja ni... I have done everything from my part. And now, i just have to wait for the matter to resolve. Terus i baca surah al-insyirah, moga Allah lapangkan hati dan fikiran i. I hayati bait2 ayat surah ini... ada kesenangan dalam kesulitan. Sesungguhnya ada kesenangan dalam kesulitan... dan i panjatkan doa semoga Allah leraikan kesulitan ini... Pasrah... I berserah pada Nya. After isya', dapat message from auditor. He said the outstanding matters dah settled. And the figure can be finalised. He will send the draft tomorrow morning. Subhanallah... Alh...

Kalau di beri pilihan... Kamu mahu wang berkepuk?  aku beri.  Tapi syaratnya, kamu tidak akan dapat anak, dan kamu hanya akan hidup berdua dgn pasangan mu sahaja sehingga kamu mati. Kamu mahu? Kalau diberi pilihan... Kamu mahu harta dan segunung intan permata?  aku beri... Tapi syaratnya, kamu tidak akan tahu apa itu rasa bahagia, tenang hati, jiwa dan raga.  Kamu mahu? Jgn banding bahagia orang dgn bahagia diri sendiri... Allah Maha Adil... Rezeki diberikan dalam pelbagai bentuk. Sesuai dgn kehidupan kita, sesuai dgn tanggungjawab kita... Kamu nampak kamu kurang di sini, tapi org lain nampak kamu lebih di sana.  Gembiralah dgn apa yg ada... Sebab bila2 masa nikmat itu boleh ditarik sekelip mata... Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal...

Marah macammana pun dengan org lain, please la jangan dilempiaskan kemarahan tu ke org lain pulak. Today, first day I masuk keje minggu ni. I cuti semalam. Masuk opis, biasa la...ada queries from auditor yg nak dijawab and kena follow up on request balance confirmation dari shareholders. Since one of the shareholder x reply lagi, i sent an email requesting them to reply. She called me. In a tone yg menunjukkan dia tak berpuas hati, and ask...why she need to confirm the balance? According to her, it looks like she is the one yg buat keje auditor. (Financial auditor out there, nak tanya...bukan ke salah satu cara yg paling tepat ialah balance confirmation from 3rd party? Instead of doing vouching dari revenue and receivable balance kan? I ni lama dah x buat audit on financial reporting ni...tapi rasanya kalau ikut ranking, confirmation dr 3rd party lebih baik dari vouching internal document kan?). I ni memang penyabar orangnya, tapi sabar i ada limit juga tau. Bila sampai taha...

Satu hari di HUKM, masa i melawat my MIL, doktor pelatih datang ke katil my mil. *DI- doctor intern *I- me DI: puan, boleh saya interview tentang pesakit? I: silakan... DI: patient sakit apa ya? I: Ada tumor dalam usus besar.  DI: how did the patient found out she has tumor? I: she's been having abdominal pain for the past 4 days. When we went to specialist they did MRI and found a tumor in her large intestine.  DI: owh... Dah operate ke?  I: belum. But doctor will do it asap as this is considered emergency case. The intestine is blocked. They will take the tumor out and check whether the tumor is benign or malignant. DI: ic... Okey. Tq for your time. I: no problem. You all student tahun ke berapa ni?  DI: third year. Ermmm... Puan ni doctor ke? Hehehehe... Ada muka doctor agaknya i ni 😅 P/s: Alhamdulillah, the surgery went well. Doc kata mudah ja urusan pembedahan my mil. Skang ni concentrate on recovery. Terima Kasih kepada semu...

My MIL sangat baik. I'm so lucky to have her as my mother in law. Rezeki yg x semua orang dapat. Dia x pernah pressure I pasal anak. She knows my condition and she understood. She was the one who took care of me after my 2 laparascopic surgeries and my 2 IVFs. She is one strong women, taking care of her kids when FIL passed away. Last week, my MIL sakit perut for 3 days. Actually she was having abdominal pain since past 3 months, tapi it was on and off. Cuma last week sakit tu berterusan, hence she decided to go to hospital. Doctor prescribed her panadol & antibiotic, saying that she has Urine Track Infection. She asked the doctor, x payah nak scan ka apa ka? And the doctor said, NO need. The next day, makin sakit. My hubby asked my BIL to take my MIL to Salam medical centre. After MRI, doc found out tumor in her large intestine. The intestine was blocked and the tumor area dah bengkak. Doc suggest to operate soon, as the MRI result is not looking good. But since cost pembe...

Last week, persatuan penduduk wanita kawasan perumahan i anjurkan program mamogram. Alhamdulillah, berkesempatan join kali ni. Last year, x bleh join sbb dia kata only 40 years and above je yg boleh. This year penganjur kata 35 years above bleh pi. Laju i sign up.  Tapi bila sampai hospital, registration i x diterima sbb belum 40. Akak yg anjurkan program tu suruh tunggu sbb dia nak check dgn wakil hospital yg dia deal with tu. According to them, those yg below 40 breast tissues are still dense. Kiranya mcm x nampak sgt la result mammogram tu. But those yg bawah 40, atas 35 tahun kalau ada faktor risiko, boleh buat ujian ni. Macam i, since I'm above 35 years and never been pregnant, plus my aunty has cancer history, so they allowed me to do the mammogram. bilik mammogram Prosedur mammogram went well. Macam nak x-ray jugak, u kena buka semua pakaian (belah atas ja, so better pakai baju yg 2 piece instead of jubah/dress) n pakai hospital gown. Semua accessory diperbu...

Sepanjang hidup i, i tak pernah makan/minum jamu. Bukan apa...bila sebut jamu ni, dok terbayang pahit dan tak sedap. Ye la kan... ubat2 mesti selalunya pahit & x sedap. Rasa macam loya tekak la kalo nak telan... Until..... Kawan i promote kat I Ell Jus Herba. Skang ni pagi2 mmg minum jus herba ni... Memula tu macam... err... nak try ke? Kang x lalu, membazir ja... My friend kata, jus ni elok untuk kesihatan dalaman org perempuan. Elok untuk buang angin2 dalam badan, dan stabilkan hormon (A few months ago period i haywire...) And since dia buat dari bahan2 asli, tak de campuran bahan kimia semua, apa salahnya kalau i cuba kan... so i try la... My verdict; First time minum; hmmm.... not bad. Tak la pahit, and ok ja i minum. (Since i tgh diet, I amik yg stevia. Tapi kawan i kata yg ada gula melaka lagi sedap. Lepas ni bleh try beli yg gula melaka pulop). Tak sampai 5 minit i minum, i terus pening and loya sebab angin i naik kepala. Lepas i sedawa keluar angin, fuh......

Kawan TTC i forward this message @ my wassap last week. A letter written by a lady who failed her IVF. Lepas baca, i terus rasa... yes... that was the same feeling that i felt after my IVFs failure, Despite the grief and sadness of failed IVF, there was a sense of gratefulness for having to experience being 'preggy' even though for only 11 days. Here goes the letter .... To our little embryos, the ones that failed to implant after our IVF transfer: I wish I knew why things work out the way they do, but I don’t. I don’t know why you didn’t stick around (literally) the way I hoped and prayed you would. I don’t know why our IVF transfer failed, why you didn’t grow into the beautiful little babies I imagined you could have been. I don’t know why I’ll never get to hear your hearts beat, feel your tiny feet kick, or swell with your growing life inside of me. I don’t know why you weren’t meant to become my children. I don’t know why the children I already have won’t get to call y...