If I could sum up what i learnt from my life as TTCian, that would be P-A-T-I-E-N-C-E. Being a TTCian has shaped me up as a person. It makes me rely to Allah Almighty in everything I do and make me believe that there will be a silver lining even in the darkest cloud.  For indeed, with hardship (will be) ease Indeed, with hardship (will be) ease. So when you have finished (your duties), then stand up (for worship). And to your Lord direct (your) longing. (Al-Insyirah 5-8) TTC World was past behind me... I'm living new world of parenthood to a 6-year-old toddler. Let's begin new chapter at MY WORLD

Ada org tak? Hari ni tetiba rasa nak blog hopping... nak tinggalkan komen kat some of the blogs yg i usually singgah, tapi something wrong with my blogger profile... x keluar plak... Mungkin sebab lama gila tak update...blogger pun lupa dah kat i... huhuhu... Orite...let's see if I can be istiqamah updating my entries here...  Rindu nak merempan kat blog seniri. Tak sama macam kat insta... Yg pasti, gambar will be uploaded kalo rajin je. hahaha... Till then :-)

Masya Allah.... lamanya i x menulis di sini... masih adakah lagi pembaca di blog picisan ni? huhuuhu... Life has been busy. Especially, perihal keje. Balik rumah, uruskan perihal rumah pulak... Masa yg terluang, memang nak rehat jee... Nak blog hopping pun x dan. Thus, my updates banyak di instagram. Sebab senang nak update... hehehhe... But still, I'll be writing here once in a while. Sebab kat sini, boleh menulis dengan lebih panjang dan meluahkan isi hati. Cepat betul masa berlalu. Dah nak masuk Ramadhan dah... sekarang bila nak masuk Ramadhan, I'll be more sentimental. Rasa bersyukur yg amat sangat, because it was in Ramadhan last year when Allah kabulkan doa i. I still rmember my doa. I asked Allah, kalau jalan terbaik untuk memperolehi cahaya mata adalah dari zuriat keturunan kami sendiri, maka permudahkan untuk kami, murahkan rezeki kami supaya dapat kami tampung perbelanjaan usaha kami. Tapi jika jalan memperolehi anak adalah melalui anak angkat, maka lorongkanlah...

U olls dear reader ingat lg tak kisah kucing yg sepatutnya i ambik dan bela? You can read the story here . Sekarang kucen2 tu i bagi pada my sister instead. Dah besar2 dah kucen ni... Bobby & Fuffy Baka Maine Coon+Norwegian Forest Bobby and Fuffy, nama2 yg anak2 sedara i bagi kat kucen2 ni... hehehe... comel kan? Ya... these were the cats yg berjaya buka hati i untuk terima tanggungjawab baru. I was ready to change my routine. I was ready for additional responsibility and commitment. Rupanya, semua tu persediaan untuk i menerima tanggungjawab yg lebih besar. And Allah give me Amna instead 😊

My friend said; "Cantiknya aturan Allah, menjadi saudara walaupun tanpa hubungan darah" Sungguh, i sangat bersyukur. Doa i sudah Allah kabulkan... Tanggal 9 Februari, Amna is officially anak susuan i. Ya, susuan ke 5 completed! Rasa macam x percaya, tercapai juga niat i nak completekan penyusuan sebelum Amna 6 bulan.  Penyusuan kali ke 5 Masa awal2 dulu, rasa macam mustahil ja dapat completekan penyusuan amna dgn jumlah pengeluaran susu yg sgt sikit ni. Tapi mmg betul la... sikit2, lama2 jadi bukit. Puas dan berbaloi bila usaha tu membuahkan hasil. Happy tummy... dah kenyang Terima kasih atas semua support dan doa para pembaca blog ni. Doakan amna membesar menjadi anak yg solehah, berjaya dunia dan akhirat. Officially anak susuan  Dan nikmat Tuhan mu yg manakah yg mahu kamu dustakan? Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah...

Alhamdulillah... amna dah selesai kali ke empat susuan! Yeay!!! One more to go... Here is happy amna after menyusu Kali ni ambik masa 3 minggu juga nak cukupkan 5oz. Lambat sebab i x berapa konsisten mengepam. Huhuhu... Bz ngan keje, sampai kadang lupa nk ngepam. Balik umah dah penat, pun kadang lupa nk ngepam. Kena usaha kuat lagi nih...  Semoga Allah mudahkan... amin...

Wow... cepat sungguh masa berlalu. My lil Amna dah 5 bulan. the apple of my eyes Masih lagi belum pandai meniarap sendiri. It's ok...setiap baby ada milestone dia sendiri. Amna dah pandai gelak bila papa gurau2 dgn dia, dah pandai jerit kalau x puas hati... hehehe... And rasanya mcm makin panjang/tinggi. Baju dia yg sepatutnya untuk 3-6 months baby ada yg dah ngam2 je panjangnya. Sikit hari lagi bleh jadi senteng... Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal... Papa n Mummy luv u darling... smg Amna membesar dgn sihat dan menjadi anak yg solehah... amin...

Alhamdulillah... since 2 hari lepas pengeluaran susu dah meningkat kepada 9ml sehari. alhamdulillah... Yeay (clap!clap!clap!) memang seronok bila dah meningkat naik. Makin semangat nak mengepam. Terkejut juga mula2 tu... sebab macam x de apa2 kelainan dalam my routine. But may be sebab konsisten pumping.  I know... nak pam ni memang jenuh. Bukan apa... dah la x dak susu kluar banyak mcm mak2 lain yg bersalin, nak mengepam selama 30 minit seperti saranan my lactation consultant... huhuhu... penat pegang corong tu. Jadi, untuk ilangkan kebosanan n penat memegang breast shield tu, i pakai freemie cup. freemie cup I siap2 perah manual susu sampai abis n collect pakai syringe, lepas tu pakai freemie cup tu. Selit je ke bra, so ur hands are free nak buat apa2. Nak pam sambil masak pun buleh. Memang menyenangkan idup. Actually kalo x nak kosongkan breast pun x pe, sbb freemie cup tu boleh collect susu yg keluar. But utk org yg sikit sgt susu mcm i ni, rugi kalo ...

Alhamdulillah... masih diberi izin untuk bernafas di tahun baru. 2016, pastinya menjadi tahun bersejarah dlm kehidupan i. Kehadiran Amna dalam hidup kami merupakan detik yang tak pernah kami terfikir untuk mengalaminya pada tahun ini.  Awal tahun 2016, azam i memang sama ja tiap2 tahun. To loose weight, to have a baby and to complete my ACCA. Ini la yg diulang ulang setiap tahun 😅.  Weight Loss Journey Manage to reduce around 6 kgs gitu. Tapi lps dapat amna, mencanak canak naik i dah gain balik all the weight yg i dah loss hari tu. Huhuhu... well, insyaAllah, nak restart balik lps ni. Hopefully in 2017, bleh berjaya. Stress bila baju dah start rasa sendat ni tau! Career and ACCA The first half of 2016, mmg ditumpukan utk career. X de la naik pangkat ka apa... just focus on cleaning up the accounts n year end audit. The 2nd half was suppose to focus on completing my ACCA. But bila Amna datang, my focus dah shifted 😅. Totally my fault, x pandai nk bahagi masa dgn betul. And of...

kan... lama x menulis di sini. been busy with work, study n banyak update kt insta je... How are u dear readers? Masih ada lagi kah pembaca blog suam2 kuku ni? Kadang tu sampai terpikir nak tutup ja blog ni... sbb penyakit malas nak update. Sebab lebih mudah update di insta... Anyway, I alhamdulillah...sihat walafiat. Bagai di pam pam rasanya. Now berat adalah yg paling maksima penah i alami. Huhuhuhu.... thanks to pemakanan yg tidak dijaga and tidur yg x teratur. Kehkehkeh...But i know it is an alasan je... Boleh je nak diet... cuma bila nak diet, mesti ada terpikir 'esok la...', 'nxt monday la'. Huhuhuhu... Siapa geng ngan i perangai cam ni sila angkat tangan. Life is great. Amna is now 4 months old. Belum buleh memusing lagi untuk meniarap. Tapi kalau ditiarapkan, boleh la dia bertahan agak lama. Skang tengah belajar nak memusing. Dia rajin 'membebel'. I slalu post bebelan amna kat my insta. Memang banyak gambar and video amna ja kat my insta tu... coz ...

As mentioned before, i memang dah niat nak jadikan Amna anak susuan i. Selain dari memudahkan isu aurat, i want Amna to grow up with my milk and nak lagi kuatkan bonding kami as mother and child. It is not an easy journey... Masa bulan pertama ambik amna, rutin pam i terganggu. Masih x biasakan diri lagi dgn new routine of having a baby. Bila x konsisten pam, pengeluaran susu terbantut. elok2 i dah ada susu sikit2, pengeluaran susu tu jadi x meningkat and ada penurunan sikit...  Kalau nak ikutkan give up, banyak kali dah i give up. Penat. Sebab Amna x mau nyusu direct feed coz susu i sikit sangat. Pls bear in mind, i dapat Amna masa dia dah 2 minggu. She was already fully breast feed with her biological mother. So bila i try nak susukan dia, (supaya dia dapat rangsang susu i), dia meraung raung x nak sebab sikit gila susu i. 2-3 kali sedut abih dah. Huhuhu... Bila i bagi masa dia dah kenyang, dia tak nak pulak. I tried use medela nursing system, susahnya ya Allah... sus...

Ok, i bukan la terer sgt english ni. Smtimes i pon ada salah eja. But if u encounter wrong spelling or wrong word used yg boleh bagi makna lain, would u tegur that person? Bgtau yg wassap dia/updates dia di blog/fb ada salah guna perkataan or wrong spelling? Sbb mcm serba salah... takut salah paham berlaku kalo ditegur, kalau x tegur pulak, kesian plak kt org tu.  Kalau i rapat ngan org tu, i akan tegur. Kalau i x rapat, i x berani nk tegur sbb takut teguran disalah ertikan...  How about u? Ni contoh... nak kata door gift jadi doggie 😅 Till then 😘

Hello dear readers... Masih ada lagi ka readers blog sendu ni. Hahahaha... Anyway, how are u? I doakan smg u all sihat sejahtera dan diberikan kelapangan hati buat semua. I'm back to the office since last tuesday. After 2 months of leave, memang lemau ler nak masuk opis balik. But life must go on... x keje, x dop gaji la pulak kan... huhuhu...mengumpul kekuatan dan semangat. Masa keje mmg dok teringat Amna. X zabar eh hakak ni nak balik umah jumpa Amna... hehehehe... Orait... i still hutang u all cerita on the process of adoption kan... Memula ingat complicated la sangat sebab nak kena pi court bagai... rupanya idak la complicated mana... Orait... on 30/8, i and My Dear Hubby pegi court untuk proces akuan bersumpah mengambil Amna sebagai anak angkat kami. We met Amna's biological mother kat court tu. Sebab the biological mother kena buat akuan bersumpah juga mengatakan dia serahkan anak tu pada keluarga angkat. Pesuruhjaya sumpah di mahkamah tu kemudiannya akan buat ...

Time... That is what i'm lacking now. Or rather time management.  It's been more than 2 weeks since we have our baby, Amna. Lintang pukang awal2 tu. Maklum la... X biasa. And my mental preparation was only 2 wks prior to her arrival. X mcm mothers lain who had 9 months to get ready.  Honestly, i do feel stress. Especially bila Amna nangis yg i x tau punca. Feel so helpless. Rasa nk nangis sama. Hahaha...  I demam malam kami bawa amna pulang ke rumah. Pakej skali ngan cirit birit. Imagine la nk suaikn diri dlm keadaan x sihat tu. 3 hari juga la i demam n cb. Lps pi klinik, mkn ubat baru ok. The nite i pi klinik tu, balik dr klinik tu amna nk susu. Steriliser botol susu amna baru ja siap sterelised. Bila i buka penutupnya, habis tangan i kena steam panas. Ni gambar 6 days after kena. A reminder to me sebenarnya. To Remain calm. Alhamdulillah today the wound dah elok baik. Also Alhamdulillah, amna is not a fussy baby. Cuma skang ni ada problem on susu formula. Sepanjang dudu...

I memang dah lama niat, kalau ambil anak angkat, i nak jadikan dia as anak susuan. Selain mudah untuk kami jaga aurat sekeluarga, breastfeeding is actually a bonding time.  18 August 2016 I met the lactation consultant at Hospital Pantai Bangsar. She is a freelancer, but the hospital given her an office there. Masa consultation tu dia tanya macam2 la... Penah buat rawatan kesuburan ke tak, penah mengandung ke tak, bila nk dapat baby, waktu kerja bila, waktu rehat bila etc. Basically the interview adalah untuk memudahkan dia merancang plan to induce milk yg sesuai dgn gaya hidup kita.  Then the consultant tgk physical appearance of the breast and show how the pumping session is done. I don't have to worry about buying pump lagi for now, sebab the consultant tu bagi sewa pump for rm200/month. According to her, better pakai hospital grade pump because it is for stimulation purpose. The one in commercial market, lebih sesuai kalau untuk express milk for those yg ada susu. Sbb i ma...

20 August 2016 It's been a week since we made the decision. Today, i ponteng kelas 🙊🙊🙊🙊 pi beli barang2 for my baby. Since i x tau barang apa i nak beli utk baby ni, my husband ajak my sil n mil to join us. Seronok tgk mil pun semangat nak sambut my baby 😊 OMG!!! Seronok gila sopping eh!!! Bukan apa, excited tgk baju2 baby girl... Cantik2... My sil n mil advised us barang apa nak beli, apa yg x perlu. Kind of educational shopping if u asked me 🙊.  Balik umah, terus prepare tempat nak letak baju baby. Baju2 yg dah dibeli siap2 cabut tag harga. Later2 la kita basuh. At the same time, jot down juga apa barang2 yg masih x cukup lagi. 22 August 2016 We have finalised the date to take our adopted baby from her mother. It is on 30th Aug! Am so excited!!! X sabar nk jumpa my baby... We'll have a long journey to plan n travel nxt wk. Can't wait! 😁 Nanti i cerita how is the process ya... 23 August 2016 Hari ni baby dah kluar dr spital. Alhamduli...

15 August 2016 Time to put plan into motion. Pagi2 i dah ngadap boss and inform him that I'll be taking unpaid leave for 2 months to care for my newborn adopted child. Alhamdulillah...boss i OK ja... Then, shoot to KLCC. Had lunch with my BFF. Waktu i share the news with her, i siap nangis lagi tau! kat Secret Recipe masa tu. Org yg mkn sebelah kitorang heran agaknya tgk apasal la minah ni nangis... huuhuhu... that was a happy tears OK. I can't count how many times i have cried talking about my baby. Even lepas solat pon i nangis sbb rasa syukur sgt Allah bagi peluang ni... After lunch, jumpa my indirect boss and inform her my plan as well. Alhamdulillah, settle... 16 August 2016 In the morning, went to clinic yg i slalu pegi, tanya if klinik dia ada bagi ubat for induce lactation. The answer was NO. The doc asked me to see my Gynea instead. So i set an appointment on the next day to meet my gynea. Then I submitted my Unpaid Leave application form. Held department meeti...

Backdated Entry: 12 August 2016 Friday, the Blessed day of the week. 11.36 am. I was browsing my lappy kat opis, tgh tgk barang2 nak beli utk bakal anak kucen i. This was the starting point, when my life starts on emotional roller coaster journey. My phone's ring out a tone signaling A wassap msg coming. It was from my sister, saying that a baby is available for adoption, the mother is at the hospital already and whether i want to adopt the baby or not...  And i was like 😱😱😱😱😱 whattt???!!!! Is this really happening? Menggigil i dapat msg from my sister. I mmg x aktif mencari anak angkat. And up to some point i really wanted to try on my own. It was so sudden, but my heart immediately wanted to say yes... but i'm working and i have classes on the weekend. The baby is newborn. Cemana i nak jaga? And a lot of other doubt came into my mind. I told my sister, to give me some time and let me discuss it over with MDH. Lepas i bertenang seketika, i msg MDH about ...

Can't wait! U all pun tertanya tanya kan... Hehhehe... Poyo je i buat countdown...  Don't worry... Esok akan terjawab segalanya... Sapa nak teka countdown utk apa... Meh teka... Till then 😊

If u asked me, yes... I'm ready since the past 11 years 😊